W05: Behaviors that Negatively Affect Marriage

In Mosiah 3:19 it says, “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” When we become like a child and grow closer to Christ, we do not have the desire to do the harmful things that hurt a marriage. After reading about the Four Horsemen, we can see how damaging those things are to a marriage. Criticism can come easily if our focus isn’t on being kind and loving to our spouse. Once we focus on the teachings of Christ, we see people as Christ sees them.

Being humble is another way we can become closer to God and lean away from damaging practices. Contempt was another Horsemen mentioned. When we are in contempt, we act superior over our partner and show them disrespect. If we are humble, we will seek the Lord’s help. The way we view our spouse will affect the way we treat them. If we really think about our spouse and children being the actual sons and daughter’s of God, we will treat them different. We will be willing to learn from him and do the things he would have us do. We can also gain charity. We can become a person who loves everyone. I think about Stonewalling in the situations where a couple fights. Ignoring a spouse in a time of hurt and criticism will not fix what was wrong in the first place. If we are patient, we can take the time to listen and evaluate how we might be able to fix the situation. I am sure there are times that we all do things that are not pleasing unto God, and yet he would never ignore our prayers. He would be there when we call upon him.

I personally have found that when I seek help from our Heavenly Father, the direction will come. It may take some extra humbling, or some work on our own, but he will help us to overcome the natural man. We need to be consistent in our prayers and seek forgiveness. We can also prepare ourselves spiritually so that we can hear the Holy Ghost. And we can become disciples of Christ. All of these things can bring us closer to God and in turn become closer in our marriage.