W12: Parenting Power

While standing in the kitchen this week, my husband had a thought he wanted to bounce off me. He wanted to know why we live with our parents for 18 years under their direction just fine. And then after we move and they come for a visit, they might be ready to leave after a few days. It was funny to me that he brought that up. His mother was just in town. We only see her every few years and does not share our beliefs and has an opinion about a lot of our parenting practices. After a few days she was ready to go home.  I am grateful that my husband doesn’t run home to his mom for help to run the household, but it was interesting to see that it really bothered her when I asked my kids to “brush their teeth” or “get ready for bed”. She mentioned that I should let them do it on their time. When I drove her to the airport, she said that we have a lot of rules and kids can’t live like that. Dr. John Rosemond counseled: “Give your children regular, daily doses of Vitamin N. This vital nutrient consists simply of the most character-building two-letter word in the English language––‘'No’. I am just guessing that the grandkids that live near her get what they want when they want. But I’m just guessing.

As parents we need to work together. Council with your spouse and listening to the Holy Ghost seem to be good advice for successful decisions. If we can’t humble ourselves enough to share in our decisions with our spouse, then there will be problems. The children will pick up on the contention, and they will use that to gain what they want. We only have our children at home for a short time. Our window to teach and influence is small. Once they leave the nest they are technically on their own. Once all the children leave the home, we must govern ourselves. This isn’t a time for a spouse to start parenting their husband or wife. I love what Sister Hinckley said about President Hinkley when they were interviewed. She said that her husband never tells her what to do. In response President Hinkley said, “I’ve tried to recognize my wife’s individuality, her personality, her desires, her background, her ambitions. Let her fly. Yes, let her fly! Let her develop her own talents. Let her do things her way. Get out of her way, and marvel at what she does.” It is a testament of his love for his wife. We are individuals here on earth working together. All of us have thoughts and talents of our own. We can accomplish so much more if we are able to practice the skills we are blessed with.