W13: In-Laws

I wanted to talk about in-laws in my post this week. It is often the running joke about a mother-in-law coming to visit. We don’t always hear of good relationships with the in-laws. I always thought that anyone who married into my family was lucky to have my parents as in-laws. Then it went a little further in my thoughts about how fun my siblings are. I thought about how our family has flaws, and makes mistakes, but we are fun, and I know I can always count on my family when help is needed. But, marrying into a loud and crazy family was a bit overwhelming for my husband at first. He has become very close to my dad and one of my siblings. For him that is a big step. My dad has taken on a role as a father for him and my husband is grateful for that. He still feels a bit overwhelmed at family gatherings, and I am o.k. when he retreats to another room to watch a game.

When I met my husband, he didn’t talk about his parents much. As we became closer, I learned that he didn’t have a relationship with his mom, and that his dad was an alcoholic. I wasn’t sure how to handle this because I looked forward to having in-laws. He didn’t even want to invite them out to California when we got married. The more time he spent with my family we both agreed to start talking to his mom more. His dad did not come, but his mom flew out and was able to be part of the reception.

It has been a long 17 years of an interesting relationship with my in-laws. We only see them every few years. I have made it a point to send them pictures, and send them text to check in, or keep them up to date on our family. I have a good relationship with my father-in-law, despite his drinking and his problems. We can talk on the phone and chat about the kids longer than he can with my husband. In Matthew 7:12 it says, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.” This scripture holds so much truth. I desire to love my husband’s family, and I want him to love my family.

I previously shared that his mom was just here. It was an interesting visit. She is very different from me and the way we run our home. My focus while she was here was to make sure she felt comfortable and loved. I would hope that when I am in her home, she treats me and my kids the same. I bit my tongue a few times when she gave me a few jabs at my parenting. I knew that her trip here was not going to be long and that it was mostly for my kids. On the trip to the airport she let me know where I was lacking in my parenting, but my skin is thick and I know she had our best interest at hand. At least that is what I hoped.

When I think about the relationships I have with my in-laws, my thoughts are to be kind to them regardless of the way I am treated. I never want to be the reason for contention among our families. My mom and my mother-in-law both came with our family to Hawaii a few years ago. They even shared a hotel room with each other. It was fun and interesting at the same time. As long as we all can recognize and respect our differences, then I think there is a positive outlook.